A lot of por fin's (finally's)


The year is coming to an end and there are a lot of things that I finally did. Knowing that I'll be here for 2 years has made me put things off. I always say to myself, "I still have time to do that," and put things off (walking to El Valle, visiting the Darien, etc.). Finally, I have accomplished some of the things I said I would do a long, long time ago.

Teach Junior Achievement

Back in training, we were told about teaching JA. A lot of business volunteers decide to do it, since you're teaching kids to think about business principles and about the economy. I put it off when I got to my community because it was the school year's end. Then, since I already did a lot of youth work and was putting in my fair share of hours at the school I kept putting it off. Finally, in September, I decided to do it. So this October and November I taught 3 5th grade classes a JA course about human/natural/capital resources and the decisions a company must take to make and sell its products.

Like everything I've done here, teaching JA had its good parts and its bad parts. Good: It's always fun working with kids, and in Panama you're doing something new and exciting whenever you initiate a youth project. They learned about concepts that would never have been introduced to them (what is the economy, where do the things we buy come from), learning in a new and exciting way. The students were not used to the types of activities we did (critical thinking, creative activities, working in teams) and they had a lot of fun going along with what the crazy gringa was doing. It was a really rewarding experience and I definitely plan to continue teaching JA next year. Bad: Well, it was kind of depressing. I was teaching 5th grade (which means 10-12 year olds) and some of the things we did were beyond challenging for them. One day we were playing a game with paper money and when it came time for everyone to count how much they had, kids started yelling, "CoCo! CoCo!" I went over to help the various students and they all had the same question: "What comes after 900?" (they were counting in 100's). Maybe I'm wrong, but I think I knew that 1000 was after 900 by the time I was finishing 5th grade. Yet anything to do with math here was really hard. The students couldn't even solve 120 - 120 without writing it down and going through "0 minus 0 is zero, 2 minus 2..." So needless to say, I got really frustrated at times. And many of these kids will not continue with their educations after next year (6th grade). It makes you feel like what can you really do to help these kids out. Back to the good: Well, I can try. Next year the principal wants me to teach JA classes to 3rd-5th grades. So more kids will experience a more interactive classroom and be introduced to critical thinking. And even one of the teachers commented to me about how he liked the style of teaching. So maybe it will rub off and some teachers will start making their students think a bit more.

Visit Franco's Site

I have been a very bad volunteer girlfriend. It took me a full year (actually, a bit longer) to go and visit my boyfriend's community. I admit that at first I was a bit scared. He kept telling me about this 2 hour death hike and crossing rivers over wobbly logs and eating horrible food and feeling like you're living in hell. When I finally got over all that, our schedules just didn't work out. Things kept coming off and the visit was put off over and over again. Finally, it got to the point where Franco was going to leave me (only half-kidding) and so I got my butt out there and...I LOVED IT!

The hike in wasn't bad at all. I kept being amazed by how easy it was. 45 minutes downhill and no mud (I got lucky). Plus, it was beautiful. Once we were there, everyone was really nice and it was really relaxing. The no electricity thing wasn't bad since I'm used to going to bed no too long after sunset these days. I brought some beads and elastic string and made bracelets with the girls who live nearby, and they dressed up in their nicest hooch tops and short shorts that they own. One even baby powdered her chest for me. Another neighbor kept dropping by to stare at me. She seemed really excited to finally meet the gringo's novia. She even brought me fresh milk from her cows and homemade tortilla asada for breakfast one day. I suspect she questioned Franco's cooking abilities and felt sorry for me. All in all, it was great...until the hike out.

Leaving almost killed me. We hiked out to another town and it was all uphill. When it came time to cross little rivers, I had to suck it up and walk through because my stone jumping skills are not very good. Plus, there was barely a trail. Sometimes I felt like we were just wandering through pastures. It did make me appreciate what Franco does though. Anytime I need food or internet I can hop on a bus and be in my capital in a half hour. He has to hike out and then get on a pickup truck for an hour, then get on a bus for another hour. I've got it made.

Learn to Weave A Hat

I've been telling myself since day one that I would learn to make a hat. Finally, I've started. Sorry though, no picture of the actual hat. My first try resulted in the now famous "sombrero feo" (ugly hat). When the family that was teaching me saw my work, the burst out in laughter. They even showed it to the neighbor, who in turn exploded with laughter as well. Oh well, it was my first attempt and they sure had a lot of fun making fun of it.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2386436&l=475fe&id=1203709


as promised, fotos. i don't know if they all show up though. campo internet...

5 random things you should know about panamanians


1. they LOVE change.
i work in the school store a lot that i created with the youth cooperative. kids alsways come and ask you to change their quarter into nickels. then, 5 minutes later, they'll come back and buy something for a nickel. when the transaccion is done, they'll buy another things for a nickel. if they have a dime, they'll buy something for a nickel, make you give them the change, then buy another thing for a nickel. needless to say, i'm going crazy.

2. they don't work in november or december.
okay, that is an exaggeration. maybe they work half the months. but there are so many holidays. the independence from spain, the independence from colombia, flag day, mothers' day, christmas, independence of certain cities, etc. so the kids are barely in school and a lot of men are really drunk for 2 whole months. fun.

3. they don't care if you're uncomfortable.
looking someone up and down to judge their body, clothing, shoes, hair, etc. upon meeting them is totally normal. i sugggest trying this in the states. next time you meet someone, after you shake their hand look them up and down. moving your head with your eyes, slowly, about 3 times. all of this from 2 feet away. awkward. also, tell people they're fat or weigh a lot. just like that. (as i opened my computer today, i was sitting on a (sturdy, metal) table at the school. the principal told me i would harm the desk. I said, "how?" her answer, "because you weigh a lot."

4. they believe in all sorts of folk tales and superstitions.
a. women and girls can't sit on hot surfaces. even kinda warm. apparently, it will mees up your bladder, kidneys, uterus, and more. i was sitting on the curb outside the school the other day when a teacher walked by. as she passed she said, "this girl is bad. she likes to sit on hot things."
b. they believe in witches (brujas). when franco woke up in the middle of the night with a rat on his chest, he screamed and woke up his host family. they attributed his fright not to a rat, but to witches. the next day in town, everyone was talking about how the witches had attacked him.

5. they can't say "yes" or "no."
or make any sort of opinion. if you hold out a piece of cake/dollar/gold watch and say, "do you want this?" they will respond, "yo no se" (i don't know). clearly they want it and you have to know that, because if you say okay and walk away, they'll say you're rude. if you say something they don't like or that is clearly wrong, they won't tell you. their culture avoids conflict, so people just don't share their ideas or comments about anything.

P.S.

Fotos of the kids from my coop to come...

One Year Down, One To Go

The end of October marked the half-way point of my volunteer service. For one year, I've been living and working in my community and lately I've been thinking a lot about what I've done so far and what I want to do in the following year. I've faced a lot of challenges, and not just the snake in the latrine type stuff. That, I expected. What I didn't expect is just how much cultural vales and norms would affect my work.

“Cultural exchange.” It sounds fun, right? Eating new food, learning new dances, and working alongside people of another culture may come to mind. That's the type of stuff I visualized before coming here. But those images make up the fairy tale of development work. It's really a whole lot tougher.

The biggest challenge I've faced while working has been with the adults involved in the youth cooperative I work with. Although it seems that the point of the group would be to teach kids basic business skills and inspire them to work in cooperatives, most people here think otherwise. Officially, the members are youth, but each member has a parent who must attend meetings and work days. All the while, the kids do NOTHING.

My American ideas clash with the general Panamanian understanding of working with youth. The youth here aren't respected like they are back home. No one tells them, “You can do it,” or trusts them. The idea of empowering them is completely unknown. I've seen plenty of parents sit down and do their kid's homework, and a 3rd grade teacher once told me that at the age of 8 kids “just can't think.” In the States, kids are encouraged to run lemonade stands, get their hands dirty and try new things, and learn as much as they can. What matters is that they experiencing new things and build their confidence. Trying to replicate that type of youth work here hasn't gotten me very far.

The teachers and parents don't understand my American approach to youth work. I've taught the kids to run meetings and organized projects that train them to work as a team, but the parents have been focused on money and that they're losing their influence on the group. One mother said, “I don't agree with CoCo. She thinks the kids should do the work, but that's our [the adults] work.” I almost fell over with shock and left that meeting angry, hurt, and frustrated. How can I feel good about my work here if the locals don't appreciate it? The kids have fun and are learning, true, but their parents and teachers want something else. They want me to do their paperwork and bring them sacks of gringo money. And that's just not why I'm here.

I've been thinking about what all of this means. Where is my service going? I have another year to go, and I'm don't know if I'm so excited about that. Not because I don't like it here. My village is beautiful and I've made some great friends. I love eating Pineapples like Apples and never wearing shoes. But the work is HARD. It's tiring to constantly push along my work with the kids, only to have the adults complain about what I saw as achievements. So I'm trying to plan out the next year and figure out what I can do that includes the kids and both the adults and I will see as valuable. This year, I've learned that I can't just jump into projects thinking that my community members will see their value. My values and their values are based on our very different cultures. Until I can find and highlight some commonalities between the two, I'm not going to get anywhere. So I need to take a step back, breath, and start again.

Looking back on this year, there's plenty of highs and lows. People will ask things like, “Are you happy there?” after reading my blog. Those questions always suprise me, because I love my life here. Being a development worker isn't easy, but it is an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experience. The challenges are huge, but the payoffs are too. Those fairy tale images of development work do exist. Walking into the school and hearing a hundred little kids yell my name is Panamanian accents always puts a smile on my face. And working with my Girl Scouts makes me excited that some of my girls will try to achieve their dreams. Just today, I was working at my kitchen table when kids came by to go to the waterfall behind my house. After awhile, I gave in and joined them. I've learned to appreciate the laid-back culture here (that I may have at one point called laziness). Panamanians really do know how to enjoy life. As I floated on my back in the water and looked up at the jungle canopy above, I thought to myself, “Do I really live here?” And I smiled to myself because the answer most definitely is, and will be for another year, yes.

The Panama Bochinche Press


“What's bochinche?” you may ask. Well that's Panamanian for “gossip.” Here hard core bochinche is looked down upon, but everyone loves to tell you about so-and-so's sick mother or new washing machine. So, I know you're not supposed to do it, but come on,everybody's doing it.

The Panty Thief
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! There's a panty thief on the loose!!! Yes, you read that correctly, someone is stealing underwear from the clothesline. MY underwear. And in a country where good underwear is hard to find, that's a huge deal. So I'm down to 5 pairs now, and washing a dirty pair has become a morning ritual for me. You all ask what I want in care packages...well, now you know. (I'm a medium.)

The Gringa Invasion
Gringas have been invading my campo town, eating up all the fonda's hojaldres (fried dough) and driving the boys wild. Thanks to Kelly, Camille, Crystal, Preeti, Frank, and Lynne, who all visited me this month. Y'all reminded me how beautiful and amazing my life is here. And I had a ton of fun. Oh, and the gifts were amazing. I'm eating Trader Joe's regularly these days.

And That Makes A Year
While the gringas were busy living the tropical life for a few weeks, I was busy celebrating my one year anniversary of the tropical life. That's right, I've been here over a year now. It hasn't seemed like a whole year at all. It's going by quickly. BUT there have been ups and downs. Here's the story of a one year anniversary DOWN:

As I hit one year in country I thought, “I'm so lucky. I have friends who've dealt with butt fungus, machete wounds, amoebas, skin eating disease and more. Yet I haven't had to go to the doctor even once. Oh lucky me. I am invincible.” Or not. The night of my one year anniversary it hit. Stomach pain kept me up all night. I felt like I was going to die. I don't know that I've ever felt worse. The next day, I moved into the bathroom, permanently. Finally, I called my doctor and she sent me to the lab. Duh duh duh. Stool test. Well, you try shooting acid butt pee into a jar with an opening the size of a half-dollar. It just doesn't work. Anyway, after days of near death I started taking anti-parasite drugs and started to feel better. So don't worry, I'm almost back to normal.

Getting Down and Dirty
Well if that wasn't dirty enough for you, here's some really dirty bochinche. Literally. I've been working on a plant project with the youth cooperative. It's been fun preparing the area and soil with the kids and getting covered in dirt from head to toe. Totally worth the cold shower I have to take afterward. We're setting up a nursery to grow medicinal and decorative plants and then we hope to sell them at the festivals in town that are coming up.

Speaking of Festivals...
I recently went to my friend Rob's site (gringas in tow) for his Patronales. That's the town's patron saint festival. The main event was bull fighting. Not the attack the animal with spears type, though. Here, the men get in a big plaza and let out bulls, one by one. The bulls run around and the men play chicken. Some run at the bull and try to ride it, others runs the other way when it gets near. The women all are on the edges (other side of the fence or wall) and scream when the bull comes near . I got in the plaza for a bit, but after two bulls I was done. I didn't really feel like having my face smashed in.

So What's Next?
I'm working on the plant project, working with my Girl Scout troop (hopefully we'll swear-in as official Scouts soon), planning some things for the group of new arrivals' training, training some youth to compete in a project exhibition, counting down the days until I come home to visit (Dec. 16), and whatever else comes up. Here, things always do...

good things about the rainy season...


yes, good things do come out of the rainy season here in panama. i know i bitch about it (a lot), but the truth is that when you look past the moldy clothes, muddy feet, and excessive bug bites everything is actually very beautiful. everything that was dry and brown all summer turns lush and green. the sunrises and sunsets are beautiful because there are clouds rolling in pre- or post-storm. and...MANGOS! rainy season means all sorts of cool tropical fruits. including mangos. i have 3 different types of mango trees in my back yard, and all in all have tried about 7 different kinds so far. i really am enjoying stuffing myself with mangos daily. getting sick of them? no way. keep em coming.


so, that's all i have to say for now. i figure y'all really want to see pictures anyway. so here are some links to a ton of fotos:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2327219&l=c4115&id=1203709

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2329965&l=027b8&id=1203709